Absolutely nothing happened today. I made a banana cake. That was it. The end.
Due to this , I’m actually going to give you an insight on my/our mental capability of handling this ridiculous isolation for nearly a whole month… I hate it, I’m sat here with my arms crossed with my bottom lip sticking out as far as a unicorn’s horn because I’ve had enough and I’m stropping now.
The first thing I’ve noticed is our moods. They have not synchronised and oh my days I wish they would! It seems like I take the morning shift of happiness and Zac takes the evening shift of happiness. All the moods in the middle mix and match, so there is mostly harmony but mornings and evenings we are complete opposites. So much so that even saying the smallest thing to each other can set us off, for an Emily example; Zac said to me ‘Do you want cake?’… this was my reply: “Nooo I can’t I’m fat, I’ve already eaten loads (starts crying and rolls around on sofa) I can’t do this anymore, I’m gonna do the same thing tomorrow and I’m so fat now, I’ve eaten so much (Zac drags me off the sofa, I flop on the floor) nooo I can’t get up I’m too fat, there’s nothing I can do. (Zac tells me to get up, I get up and slump my body onto the radiator) what am I doing with my life, I’ve accomplished nothing, I’m supposed to be rich by now” that’s very brief but basically what Zac has to deal with, he was only offering to get me a tasty snack… Poor man!
Now for a Zac example: I say “you’ve watched that episode about 10 times”… Zac replies: “Omg shut up, it’s all I have, I can’t deal with you always going on, why are you always complaining stop, eughhh it’s really tough at the moment and this is the only thing that’s helping me, stop trying to stop me” it goes a little like that. As you can see, I only stated one tiny observation… Poor me!
When analysing both of these examples you can pick up signs of irritability, frustration, over-reactions and very emotional… This is all true as I really need to get a life. I am so restricted. I’m like a bird, I need to fly! Back in the UK, I would NEVER be home. I always find something to do: go to the shops, go to a cafe/restaurant, visit a friend, play basketball, go to the gym, go somewhere I’ve never been, go for a drive… anything that you can think of that doesn’t involve being inside of the house, I would most probably do. From that, to this, I have now officially lost my mind and I’m moving like a slug. It’s not a good look. I keep asking Zac if he’d still love me in different situations just in case it comes to it, such as “Would you still love me if you had to roll me into the elevator to get me outside” things like that. His reply is “I’ll always love you” isn’t he sweet! Although, it’s quite believable since he’s dealing with my tantrums quite well.
In all seriousness, I don’t want any sympathy, I’m just venting my feelings. I’m mad, I want to eat, train, work , socialise and live normally! No one sees their partner 24 hours a day! As much as I love his face and being with him, the excitement of seeing him when you haven’t seen him all day or at least for a few hours isn’t happening at the moment because I can’t go anywhere for a few hours! You can’t talk all day because we see each other everyday and we’re the only people we see so we end up running out of conversation. I WANT A DATE NIGHT!!! I want something special to happen! Everyday I put on a pair of leggings or trackies to workout or slump around in and have really adopted ‘tramp sheek’. I want a reason to dress up and go out because at the moment I look like a frog!
My birthday is 2 weeks away and Zac has spent all day ordering my presents (finally the delivery service is working) and trying to make my birthday special because it’ll be nice for both of us, awrh he’s so good! I hope it does go as planned because I think my birthday is going to be a celebration of ‘normalness’ if everything opens by then!
So yes, that’s what’s on my mind tonight and I know it’s not my normal story telling time but there were no stories to tell today. That’s upsetting isn’t it! Hopefully there will be a story tomorrow, because I entertain myself as well!
Tone & Travel 