Author: Emily Short

Life

How Hangry Do You Get?

Emily Short

HANGER! Wow, I don’t even know how to explain how hangry I get. Actually, I do, I’ve created a hanger-o-meter below so go have a look where you land on the scale!

Anyway, I was so hangry today. I’ll tell you the story… Okay, so Zac (my fiancé) is an EXCELLENT cook! For today’s lunch he decided to make a spaghetti bolognese (My favourite!). Bear in mind I haven’t had spaghetti bolognese for so so long so I was super excited to have this meal for lunch! Right so, it gets to lunch and I get my packed spaghetti bolognese from the fridge, sit down, try and open the Tupperware (glass) and it slides off of the table, smashes everywhere and my yummy food falls out onto the floor… OH MY GOD. I genuinely could have cried. I picked it up and put it onto a plate as I was so desperate to keep this meal sanitary to eat but guess what… there were shards of glass – big and small pieces, throughout the pasta and meat. I was picking out all of the glass still trying to save the meal I was so desperate to have. I thought I got all of the little bits, how wrong was I!?!? I picked up a fork full of the spag bol and CRUNCH! On my teeth! I had to spit it out as I didn’t want glass cutting open my organs, I wasn’t that desperate. I was so so sad, I had to give up trying to save the meal and chuck it all in the bin. Very emotional for me as food genuinely brings joy to my life.

I was not happy. Zac comes to the table with his meal (the same meal, just unsmashed with no glass) and says ‘well i could open mine just fine’, I couldn’t handle the jokes, I was fuming at how inept I was at opening a basic tupperware bowl. I just stormed off and said ‘that’s it, I’m going home’ I did have to return to work but it was a good excuse to leave and sort the dogs, I guess it made me productive in a way. I left the school whilst leaving everyone thinking I was mad at Zac as just before I left he said he’d order me food instead but i declined his offer as all I wanted was my beloved spag bol. I went to sort the dogs, fuming the whole time.

I returned to school, still angry (c’mon Emily, you should have got over it by now) but before I returned I bought an ice cream (Twister) to see if it would cheer me up and it failed. I was just so hangry at this point, I thought of any reason to blame Zac for why I was so angry but really it was serious HANGER!

I am going to apologise to Zac as soon as he finishes work. The hanger took over my personality and I turned into a hungry goblin…

This is a true visual representation of what my personality evolved into… ugly hey? That’s what hanger does to me!

Zac told me I just had to sort my hunger out and eat anything that would stop me from being hangry and see if I’m still angry after. I refused and refused but in the end I decided to order a nutritious McDonalds… Chicken Nugs, Waffle Fries and of course, a McFlurry!

As much as I hate to say this, he was right, he mostly is right… I was cured and the hangry, evil, ugly, little (big) goblin you see above disappeared.

So anyway, The Lesson: You may be hungry to such a degree that it turns you into a demon goblin and you don’t even realise it… As a result, make sure you eat whenever you need to eat otherwise you will be a meany bobeeny slaheeny grangreeny. Please check your current hanger level on the meter below to ensure no goblins appear:

Nutrition

Don’t starve yourself!

Emily Short

So… You want to lose weight? Fat? The bits of skin near your armpits which are so inconvenient, yes I know the struggle! Well, if this is the goal, the first thing everyone thinks is ‘I need to stop eating’. That might not mean stop EVERYTHING but just a few naughty things, the enjoyable things, the tasty treats that keep you sane! Well…

Yes, Timon is telling you! You can continue eating those ‘Sins’ that Slimming World claim to be the devil’s work. It drives me insane! Just a quick reminder, I am a personal trainer and a nutritional adviser, I’m not a nutritionist doctor or any of the sort BUT I do know how to give healthy, realistic and sustainable diet advice for anybody who wants the extra tips!

Okay, let’s continue… YES, you can eat and drink treats… unbelievable!? Let me explain: Your body needs food to survive right? RIGHT. This means you can’t starve it which also means you’re not going to gain any fat because you’re body is using the calories (energy) to survive. This said, that doesn’t mean you can eat as much as you want and blame it on the survival of your body, although, that would be magical! There is a calculation, I know, if you hate maths you’re already going to be turned off, so let’s use a friendlier word… There is a trick (ooo, lovely) to tell you how many calories you can consume without gaining any extra poundage AND no exercise is required, the trick is = Your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate).

As you can see, the diagram is kindly explaining how the body’s organs put the steak meal, carrot and cheeseburger to good use. You burn calories when you breathe, replenish your cells and keep your heart beating. AMAZING. It’s like exercising without doing anything, the laziest, most effective type of exercise. So lets have a look at how much food I can actually eat if I wanted to lie in bed all day and not gain any weight…

An example using my own measurements:

I am a Woman. This is important, the genders have different equations:

(4.536 x 143lbs) + (15.88 x 70in) – (5 x 23) – 161 =

648.6 + 1111.6 -115 – 161 =

BMR = 1484.2

I can eat 1484 Calories without putting on any weight and the calories can come from any food I want, so let’s see my food options! Okay this is what a day could look like for me if I wanted to eat and drink without any restrictions part from knowing my BMR.

There you go! I was able to eat yummy meals, have a little sneaky ice cream and a glass of wine… I even had 10 calories to spare!

This is just an example to show you that I don’t have to starve myself to make sure I don’t put on any weight, I can also continue eating enjoyable meals and snacks throughout the day, and if I want to lose weight and TONE which is really the goal of this blog, I would reduce my calories to be below my BMR (- Exercise Kcals) depending on the speed I want to drop the weight and the amount of energy expenditure BUT that will be included within the next post! This post is purely if you don’t exercise. I will be posting about becoming toned when your lifestyle does include exercise! Stay up-to-date! Some juicy tips and knowledge is coming your way!

The Lesson: Find out your BMR, if you don’t go over your BMR you definitely won’t be putting on any weight. If you stay under your BMR, you’re most likely to lose weight at a rate you’ve never seen before whilst still having the scrummy snacks!

China Coronavirus Life, Life, Travel

Day 52 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

Well, what an infuriating day! First of all, I have to get this off of my chest… I am a Western Amazonian woman living in China. I get many stares, and the stares I can deal with. Yes, I am a foot taller than you but to me you’re a toddler, holding your actual toddler so maybe I’ll just stare right back! But, wow, the shops, it’s like I get emotionally attacked every time I go into a store… Here are some examples: 1: Clothing Stores, okay for my height I would say I’m quite a small width resulting in me fitting into size small clothing… would the Chinese shop assistants believe me? Nope, they questioned me and basically forced a LARGE into my face… not a medium but a large! How insulting! I went to the till still enraged and purchased my size SMALL top, pffft just because I don’t wear 6 month baby grows… okay a little too far, but as you can tell, it hurt my feelings. 2: Hair Salon, okay, I don’t know if anyone has noticed but Chinese hair is very different to western, it naturally has a very sleek, straight and shiny look. Well good for them, because for me, I naturally have fluffy wavy hair, a lot of westerners do… I go to get my hair cut in the salon and what do they say to me… they say ‘your hair is boring and dull, it is ugly’. Okay, you hold up there, you’re only saying that because we don’t have the same hair and you’ve never cut a western girl’s hair before. I said fine, fix it… the guy put serum on it and that was it, well done, all of my problems have been fixed. I was mucho offendido. 3: Shoe Shop, now, this is the worst one. All around the world Adidas go up to a Size UK 8 in female sneaks which is perfect because I’m a size 7 (I’m tall, that’s appropriate feet size so I don’t fall over)… well not in China, apparently they only go up to a size 5 for women. I was unaware of this until today, I asked for a Size 7 in a female trainer and the guy comes back out and says, ‘oh size 7s are for men only’ 😵 okay, I couldn’t, I just had to hold on before a tear fell out of my eye. This man was the height of a 10 year old and he is telling me this. Right, I don’t have a problem with heights BUT don’t tell me my shoe size is for a man and I basically have man feet. I have vowed to never shop in Adidas in China again… unless I like the clothing or a men’s shoe, meaning there is a large chance I will shop there again.

So that’s that. As you can tell, China aren’t very catering towards my height, and I know it’s not personal but it’s quite a shock to the system when you actually are the real life BFG. Anyway, rant over. What else, ohh yes, Zac was sick because he ate too much as we had an Indian! The first Indian in Guiyang!! How exciting, it was lovely, a very nice change from Chinese food. Although, I have realised that whenever I order food, I end up just saying ok ok ok as I have no idea what they’re saying to me, for all I know I could be saying Ok to something I definitely should not be saying Ok to! ALSO, I accidentally paid for someone’s shopping today. It’s so tough to know how to use self-checkout machines here as it’s all in Chinese, they ask me to use my barcode on the app as I’m thinking it’ll start scanning my items through but no. I paid for someone else’s shopping as they just left the till without paying. Only £6 but still! I could have used that £6!

Last thing, we went to decathlon today and bought LOADS of gym equipment so circuits are going to be out life now people. Our gym is still closed. At the start of this quarantine we were on a roll, that roll stopped, now we have rolls, and we have to get rolling again. The roll starts tomorrow and it will be circuits and boxing everyday/most days. This is what happens when you’re stuck in isolation for weeks and weeks and there’s no end and you see your summer body turning into your sofa 🙃 that’s all.

China Coronavirus Life

Day 51 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

🎵Guess who’s back, back again, Emily’s back Emily’s back Emily’s back Na Na, Na Na Naa Naa 🎵Just thrown in a remake of Eminem’s song for ya, enjoy.

I’ve just realised I basically took an 11 day break from writing, apologies. Honestly, I just didn’t want to write because in the first week, a lot was going on and I was sad… yes I was sad BUT now I’m not and I haven’t been for the past 4 days, I’ve just been lazy… when I say lazy, I mean L.A.Z.Y. The only thing I have been actively involved in are my online classes because it’s my job. Oh and my first and second sesh of boxing with Zac. I’m a natural… at not being a boxer. So let me catch you up…

Obviously on 11th March it was a very special day which is why my mood changed due to the treatment from my darling husband-to-be… still so strange to say! I’m so young! 23 years young actually! Happy Birthday to me for 4 days ago if anyone didn’t know. You should’ve known, and I’m very disappointed you didn’t do your research if you didn’t know. What are the odds that you share your birthday with your Fiancée’s Nan AND your best friend’s Nan… Coincidence? I think not.

What else… about a 10 days ago (note the correlation in the mood change) Zac and I were discussing and making plans to come home in the weeks just gone and we were going back and fourth on the best way to go to the UK and back without leaving the dogs for too long, without missing any work AND being there together. Many options came up and we ended up becoming set on one. BUT THEN just before we were going to book the flights, we were informed that if we came back to China we would have to pay £2800 EACH just to stay in a mandatory quarantine hotel for 2 weeks… that would be more than the trip to the UK alone. We’re not that rich so that made our mind up for us. Obviously it was sad because we wanted to go home, but wasn’t a possibility. Although, when looking at it, the quarantine price that stopped us was kind of a life-saver as now the rest of the world is blowing up with CORONAVIRUS and actually China is now looking like the safest place to be. I’m really sorry for what is about to happen in your country if you don’t all start washing your hands/seeing no other human being.

Zac and I were talking the other day (yes, we do that sometimes) that obviously we are pros at being in quarantine now and have hit Level 51 today! Of course, we’re hoping that the rest of the world doesn’t go into lockdown like China has and how Italy recently has, and we just want to reassure people that the Coronavirus doesn’t give you the poops so you can put down your extra 100 toilet rolls back on the shelf. China still had all the toilet paper in their supermarkets so I think you can relax… personal opinion.

Some insight on the home life… I think Zac and I have given up on forcing our love for home workouts… we did it for 6 weeks and we just can’t do it anymore… we want to hump a barbel. For those that don’t know, it’s the long metal pole in the gym. Also, I’ve become a ‘pro’ boxer… I’m not a pro but if I call myself a pro then I don’t feel like a baffoon when I smack my gloves together (it’s quite aesthetically pleasing). Oh and here’s a timeline of what happened the other morning at 5am to be exact…

  • 5am: Lola pooped by the front door (She is house trained but she had a bad belly and couldn’t hold it. She was crying while pooping, bless her!
  • 5:10am: Zac takes her outside and I clean the poop… Yay.
  • 5:20am: We all go back to bed.
  • 5:30am: Lola starts gagging/heaving, Zac picked her up off of the bed and onto the floor and she vomits all over the floor. I clean it up… Yay.
  • 5:35am: We get back in bed
  • 6:00am: Lola starts gagging/heaving AGAIN! Zac repeats putting her on the floor. She’s sick again. I clean, AGAIN! yay.
  • 6:20am: Zeus the dick pees and poops on our Sofa Cushion 🙃 Zac volunteers as tribute to clean it.
  • 6:30am: We all go back to bed… Bella pees on the floor because she’s only young. I cleaned it up whenever I got up…

H.O.W. D.E.L.I.G.H.T.F.U.L. The lesson from this story is to make sure you DO NOT turn your house into a zoo. I do STILL love them all. My head was so so SO close to exploding. It would have if Zac didn’t volunteer… he saved the animal’s heads, some would call him a hero.

So, that’s it really. I hope all of you have as much fun in isolation as I’m having 🥳🙃 Oh and I know my previous posts have been food obsessed sooo here is visual proof of how much I love cake (Zac bought me 7 full sized birthday cakes in total, if I have diabetes, it was worth it)

China Coronavirus Life

Day 40 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

You know when you get the feeling of not being able to move because you’re just waiting for the event that you don’t want to happen, come around? That’s what I experienced today. If you’ve never had it, well you’re very lucky and I hope you never do. The cause of this feeling was due to knowing that I had to hold a live class to 4 year olds over Zoom (video conferencing app). It was despicable. Imagine, you’re on video with a whiteboard whilst talking to the class but you can’t see yourself, so you have no idea if the board is even on the screen! Then, I have the 4 year olds shouting at the screen with the answer which is great BUT the quiet kids get lost. So, to resolve this I mute the rest of the kids and… oh wait, their ID’s don’t have their names on so I have to guess what kid is using what ID. By the way, during all of this, their faces are switching on my FULL screen as the website I was using wouldn’t let me see all of them at once 🤦🏻‍♀️ technology is supposed to be great!? Anyway, I found the quiet student and he would say his answer which was fab but bear in mind, I still have no idea if my board is on the screen… we were learning about emotions (worried, shocked and excited) so I needed to draw the faces on my board. My artistic skills have really improved since becoming a teacher 🙃 so the whole shabang was a battle but the clever little guys were all able to say ‘I am shocked’😵, ‘I am worried😟’ and ‘I am excited🤩’ at the end of the 30 minute Zoom sesh… so kinda mission accomplished.

Next thing, you ever get it when you’ve had a coffee too late and then you’re awake for most of the night? Yeah I’ve had that, it is so inconvenient, I just want to sleep – that’s the feeling at 2am… Well. Imagine that but times it by 50 because ZAC decided to invest in pre-workout. Generally it’s fine, you know a nice little kick before a gym sesh and you smash it up. BUT. 1: We aren’t going to the gym, it’s a tiny home workout that we’ll get into and that’s it. 2: We aren’t eating that much since we have no reason to as we aren’t as active as what we were before this epidemic kicked off and 3 (the most valid point): This pre-workout contains a combination of ingredients that would probably be able to set off a heart attack! This product is called ‘Pathogen’ VERY apt for this virus situation BUT it literally is a pathogen being inserted into your body… well, in Zac’s case anyway.

Zac has taken this pre-workout a couple of times but for the past week he hasn’t been able to sleep and he’s felt a bit rough, initially we thought it was just a little illness and it will pass. No that wasn’t the case, the next time he took the pre-workout (last night) the symptoms worsened. I decided to take it upon myself to turn into Sherlock Holmes and figure out what the cause would be. Yep, you’ve guessed it, PATHOGEN. I looked up the ingredients and it contains some serious head-blowing caffeine (4 different types)! No wonder he couldn’t sleep, all the caffeine is sitting in his body waiting to be used up… I can assure you, it would probably take a 4 hour long gym sesh to be all sucked up. So, I solved the mystery of why he was staying up and we figured that because the product has such strong contents it’s probably disagreeing with Zac’s digestive system so that’s why he’s feeling so rough. WOW I’m good, such a detective… also slight common sense. In conclusion, there you go, we found out that this pre-workout is literally a deadly pathogen – Coronavirus, you have some competition… sorry too soon.

Last thing, you know when you get the feeling that you just NEED to help someone because you’ve experienced the same thing as what they’re going through now. Yes, I’ve felt that, I feel like I would do anything to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen to them because when it happened to me it was awful. Anyway, I experienced that today, I listed down every way possible that I could try and help to stop the same thing happening to them and I thought I had a breakthrough but no. It just isn’t possible. It would be if this STUPID virus wasn’t a thing but it is. I am so mad at this Coronavirus, it’s spread around the whole world and it’s stopping people from living how they want to live, and for some, stop living all together! It’s just frustrating because I don’t want to stay in my house and tidy everyday… I know I said in my post yesterday that it’s a nice feeling, it is, but cmon I need to appreciate the feeling, let me have at least one day of mess! I want to go to the gym, I miss it so much, I will never take advantage of it again and miss a day when I was actually supposed to go. I want to teach face to face and not over a Zoom app that has so many inconveniences! I want to be able to freely fly around the world to see our families if we need to without having to be in isolation for 14 days before seeing anyone we actually want to see. Finally, I want to be able to eat out, I don’t want to cook anymore, someone cook for us! I think we deserve that!

I just had to let all my wants out, I really want to lose my ‘Tina the talking tummy’ and my ‘cellulite sally’ and my ‘Kimmy Cankles’. Sorry, that was my last one. Anyway, you get the point, I want this virus to be over because at the moment it seems that there’s no means to an end by the rate the rest of the world’s numbers are going up! Hopefully it stops before everyone starts writing blogs about Day X in the Coronavirus world!! 😟

China Coronavirus Life

Day 39 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

My largest apologies as I skipped yesterday’s post, I had other matters to attend to… I was watching a movie, The Hunger Games actually, as Zac had never seen it before and he’s supposed to be teaching a class on it this semester. As I am a Good Samaritan, I thought I’d educate him, I did an excellent job… found the website, clicked play on the movie and it played! There ya go, educated! I will maybe never not do it again, very sorry not sorry.

Anyway, so I’ve been reflecting recently on the little things I enjoy as the big things I enjoy are currently on hold, some sort of virus going around, I dunno. The things I’ve thought about actually do make such an impact on my mood throughout the day and I’ve only thought about this because I mostly do nothing within the day. So, I’m just going to relay some things that I reflected on and you may have the same effect from them but you’ve just never thought about it until now… okay… ready… 1: having a bowl of any cereal I want in the morning, I mix all my cereals because it’s a way more enjoyable experience. I love cereal and I love the aesthetics of crunching on cornflakes or Cheerios, just so relaxing! In the morning, after taking the dogs out, I just sit there looking like a scruff, put on my current favourite TV show (Grey’s Anatomy) with a Coffee, I LOVE coffee (that’s another thing) and I’m just so content for about 20 minutes, eating my cereal in silence apart for the crunch and the TV background and drinking a steaming coffee… isn’t that so peaceful! No disturbances, I’m not thinking about anything else, I’m not bored and I love it! Next thing, 2: Tidying/cleaning, when I start, I don’t really stop – people who know me personally won’t believe it but it’s true. Zac always says ‘you were on a roll so I didn’t want to stop you’ and of course I can stop at anytime but it does look like I’m on a mission (I defo got it from my mum). It’s just so satisfying going around the house, perfecting the way things look and smell and you’re not just sat there sedentary, kinda feels like I’m being active, using my arm muscles to lift dishes to wash… okay not that extreme but you get the drift. After I spend so long cleaning everything, I turn around and my house is so sparkly, I even go ahead to wash the dogs at the same time because then EVERYTHING is pretty again! Very satisfying! 3: Wearing slumpy clothes but I think about what I’m wearing and whether it goes well. For example; leggings and a hoody, but I make sure the shape of both compliment each other and myself, it just makes me feel like I could go out if I want to but I have no reason to… that’s also a nice feeling of content. That’s only 3 things but I have way more, I’m not going to bore you with them though…

You’re probably thinking, wow, this girl needs to get out because even I’m thinking I sound nuts, but those little things really do put me in a better mood. Obviously, there’s loads of other things, Zac and the dogs, the main things! I was just pointing out the tiny happenings in our day to day lives which have an impact. Speaking of Zac, yesterday was our 1 year anniversary! Huge anniversary! We survived the first year and that’s usually a very good sign… we forgot. We forgot it was a 1 year anniversary and got on with our lives in isolation like we usually do… that’s how much we notice each other… just kiddin! It’s just so easy to lose track of time when you do the same thing day in and day out in this situation. I reminded Zac today that we forgot about our anniversary yesterday so we congratulated each other today. Yes, I said ‘congratulated’ because that is what is necessary for an anniversary… congratulations for putting up with me for a year straight! You’re a real warrior! Joking, I’m not that hard to be with. I don’t think… 😅 So yes, our first anniversary was forgotten about but it’s okay, we’ll have another next year (hopefully!)

Last thing to mention, I went to Walmart today to buy some ingredients for Zac to make brownies, that was nice, it got me out the house. Although, I came back with all of the ingredients apart from the main thing, Nutella (out of stock) which meant he couldn’t make his glorious brownies. Due to this loss, I took it into my own hands and attempted to make cookies… I failed. Miserably. I never knew you could get light brown sugar and dark brown sugar… I thought brown sugar was brown sugar and it was easy for simpletons to handle. No no, these very very dark sugared cookies are very very dark tasting and sugary… they’re quite yum with milk but on their own they’re disastrous! I told Zac about my ‘misinterpretation of brown sugar’ situation and I was in fact guilty of wasting all ingredients that he was going to use for his brownies… I apologised to myself profusely for even thinking that would be the right ingredient… I mean have you seen the colour of dark brown sugar… it’s definitely not light brown! So yes 0 points for me.

There you go, in conclusion, I’ve started consciously enjoying the tiny things in life, I’m going to try not to forget our next anniversary, and remember, dark brown sugar is NOT light brown sugar.

China Coronavirus Life

Day 37 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

Happy birth month to me!!! Yes, birth month is a thing and my birthday is on 11th March (note that down people). I take birth months very seriously after Zac and I made a deal (coincidently) just before his birth month. The deal was ‘the person who’s birth month it is, does not lift a finger, doesn’t do anything and basically gets waited on the whole month’. Initially, I thought this was an excellent idea as I couldn’t wait for it to be my birth month, which is now here. However, this deal was made and then it was October, Zac’s birth month. Day to day, I do most of the house work and stuff like that just because I’m quite particular about how things are done and Zac does an ‘above satisfactory’ job, he has definitely improved though… due to this, I proactively sort things before Zac gets a chance, although, he is the chef in the house which is great for me! So in October, I didn’t think it was a big deal for him to not lift a finger and me wait on him, but then, things started to change throughout the month… I got him a cat for his birthday… then we got ourselves a very needy dog 3 days later… and it was still the deal of ‘Zac doesn’t lift a finger’ because of his birth month. I was not ready! I needed his assistance but cmon, I wasn’t ready to be a mum to these animals by myself! Obviously, I needed Zac to start helping out, unfortunately it was (only) 2 days before his birth month ended and he will never drop it… I mean I did a pretty good job for the rest of the month!

So, now it’s the first day of my birth month and the deal, but guess what I did all day… CLEAN AND TIDY!! To be fair, Zac didn’t get any sleep last night so I’ll let it slide as he also made me a yummy yummy shrimp pasta for dinner. BUT aside from this anomaly we should have an easy month ahead of us people. I get to just sit back, do nothing as Zac becomes my butler… in the buff 😂 How exciting! So, yes I thought I’d share the update of this yearly event with you all.

Okay so onto the day, well after a very nice, sunny yesterday, we found ourselves back inside today. Yesterday was a one off but a good sign, as there are more local shops opening and malls are starting to open up again and it’s looking positive. We’re slowly getting back to normality – Just waiting on the most important place to open up, the gym! We’ve decided that if the gym doesn’t open then we have no choice but to fly to Thailand and go to the AKA Thailand MMA gym… its the only way we could think of to stay sane 💁🏻‍♀️

Yes, so even though we’re back to being trapped inside I was still very proactive and got myself a very accurate picture of Zeus just for visual proof of his sneaky dickness, during this time he was using his paw to pull my bowl away from me and closer to him (basically tug o’ war with a cereal bowl!)…

“If I stare long enough, human will have to give me some” Mr Zeusykins France

I was also proactive as I went for a run… I know I had a break but a niggle just made me run today, probably had something to do with the whole packet of cookies, 2 dinners, 2 chocolate bars and the ice cream I ate last night, whoops! I also did an hour HIIT class from a YouTube video, never done one before so thought I’d try it out since I needed more than a run to work of those mega kcals I consumed last night. The video was tough actually, a little boring but tough, only boring because there were a lot of repetitive body weight moves and it would be better if they switched it up but hey, it’s their class and I stuck through the whole thing! Man I had a sweat on! It felt good, I mean it won’t get me ripped or anything but a nice little home sweat is more rewarding than doing nothing!

Annnd that’s all I think. Nothing else happened today… see what happens when I’m back trapped inside the house, there’s only a certain amount of things I can talk about, very restricting, I’m not a fan. Well, there is one more thing, Lola and Bella have basically been asleep all day because of their busy day yesterday, just look at this!

Nap nap time 😴

Hopefully there’s more to tell you tomorrow! I also hope that the person who lives above us stops constantly playing their piano from 9am to 9pm!?!? Who even plays a piano for that long…?

Uncategorized

Day 36 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

You’ll never believe what happened today… We stepped outside of our block for the first time in 36 days!!! Wow, we did something with our lives and it was so refreshing. Our friends came to pick us up (they have also been trapped inside) and we drove for about an hour to a huge lake! Fun fact: Since we’ve been in China, I haven’t seen a lake, river, sea, or even a pond! Seeing this lake today in a huge dog park was like a tourist attraction, it was so so so nice for the dogs too because they haven’t been allowed off of the lead for the whole time, and they have never actually been to a dog park because all parks here have 3,472,000 rules, including no dogs allowed! So, even though this park was an hour away, that’s basically nothing being that we haven’t been in that type of space until today!

We got to the park and there were sooo many dogs! It was like a group dog walk sesh since we’re all in this ‘Love dogs’ group, very entertaining, everyone fancies Zac and they make it blatantly known. They were asking questions like; how old are you? Are you here by yourself? Are you in a relationship? He replies with ‘yes I’m engaged’. I slide in saying ‘It’s me 💁🏻‍♀️’. Were there anymore more questions? No sir, no more throwing out their ‘ooo you look like Jason Statham’ and ‘such a big strong man holding his tiny dog’ compliments. I can’t blame them, he’s a very handsome man but simmer down people (men and women). I may be coming across jealous but I’m not jealous of these people, I’m jealous of him! He’s getting these Jason Statham compliments, where’s my good-looking actress compliments huuuh?? Kiddin not kiddin 😂

Anyway, back on track, we’re with all of these Chinese dog owners and can’t talk to any of them as they don’t understand us, so we talk through our dogs and they can just play together… I’m sure it works like that. We took Lola to the lake AND she jumped/slipped in! She had her first swim!! It was like a baby taking it’s first steps (not quite, but close enough), she was so cute paddling but then started to panic as she couldn’t find a way to get back out of the water meaning Zac had to pull her out, still so sweet though!! Here’s a pic…

🎵Just keep swimming, what do we do, we swim, swim, la la la🎵

After Lola had her first water baby moment, all the dogs were in the same area around or in the lake. THEN a massive fight broke out between a very large American retriever and an old border collie! A lot of noise, a lot of cries and eventually the fight was broken up… the retriever walks off completely unharmed but the poor old collie had been deeply bitten on his neck (lots of blood) and injured his leg, he was limping around whimpering and it was so so sad! It was definitely upsetting that the collie got badly hurt BUT surely you’d put the dog who attacked him on the lead afterwards, but nope, not in China – it’s not the owners problem apparently. Well, I can assure them that if a dog attacked one of our babies then the owner would 110% realise it is their problem! By what we’ve seen, the Chinese culture treat and handle their dogs very very differently to the western world!

ALSO, Zac looks like a lobster, he got burnt… we’ve been back from Thailand for a month so I think I still have a protective tanned layer on me. Zac however, got burnt while we were in Thailand and that layer peeled off at the beginning of isolation… SO today, in China’s sunny winter day (15’c) lets just say, Zac is one overcooked calzone! Hopefully this one will turn into tan, but at the same time I hope not because then I will look so so pale! That just wouldn’t be right. He shouldn’t care though, he’s been told he looks like Jason Statham 27 times today…pffft! Kidding, you Jason Statham Lobster Calzone 😘

That was the day! I am now home and have b.i.n.g.e.d, why do I do this? I’ve enjoyed myself though and now have a sugar rush and it’s 10pm yayayayayay 🙃🙃🙃

Lola, ready as usual!
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Day 35 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

Let’s start from the beginning, in the early hours of this morning I thought it was the end. Remember yesterday when I said I got given antibiotics for my tooth… Let’s just say we didn’t get on very well. So, I took the antibiotics quite late as I had dinner late, when going to bed I felt like normal Emily. Anyway, it got to about 4:30am, I woke up and felt so dizzy, had a headache, my whole body was tingling and I felt like I needed to move. I could have easily got out of bed and started dancing but I couldn’t because I was so dizzy (so actually, not so easily). I woke up Zac and these were my exact words when he asked what was wrong, “I’m freaking out, I feel like my body is shutting down”. His response was very comforting, he kept saying it’s okay, gave me a cuddle and he went back to sleep… Meanwhile, in my head, I’m having a mini panic attack thinking that my legs were going to swell up the size of Rasputia Latimore’s (Norbit) while feeling like I needed to do the horizontal running man… I wasn’t in a good way, although at the same time, I was sooo tired! Zac woke up again because I was so jumpy and he asked if I was okay, I replied with absolute jibberish, I could actually hear what was coming out of my mouth but had no control over what I was saying… such a weird feeling! I also had to consult my mum because she is practically my diagnosis doctor using the resource of Google, thank god for the time zone difference as I was too scared to look at the side effects – I thought I was dying! Anyway, these antibiotics are called Roxithromycin and these are the side effects: affects central & peripheral nervous systems ✅ headaches ✅ dizziness ✅ I suffered with 3 of the less common side effects… these antibiotics do not get my vote!

Anyway, I wake up this morning and the symptoms were wearing off but my tooth and jaw was still so so painful! I popped the Panadol and thank god for paracetamol! Though, that is not the main event of the moment I awoke… Zac told me HE ATE THE WHOLE GIANT COOKIE I made yesterday! Urgh! Again!! To be fair, he said he was being thoughtful, he said it was to make sure I don’t eat it, he’s stopping me from getting fat… do I believe him? Absolutely not! He eats my niceties because he’s the Cookie Monster. At the same time though, he is helping me. Thank you but not thank you, meany bobeany slaheany grangreany! Due to this criminal act, I’ve decided against making any more yummy cakes or biscuits for the foreseeable future as his punishment… and because I vowed that I wouldn’t eat anymore sugary things. I did quite well today, I only had a bite of a strawberry Cornetto! That’s good, less sugar for me today, even if I did have 3 lunches – Cereal (mix of Cheerios, chocolate shreddies, chocolate balls), cottage pie and lasagna… all so worth it though! Mayn I’m a piggy wiggy!

What else… We saw the faces of our colleagues today for the first time in a month on a group video call! Very entertaining! It was weird talking to people who aren’t Zac. Suddenly, my normal brain turned back on because I have actually gone nuts staying inside and only seeing Zac, it’s okay though because Zac has gone nuts too. We have had conversations which we probably would never of had if we hadn’t been put in isolation. Bonding experience… also showing the personality sides that everyone has but they usually keep it locked very very deep in their brain’s. Mine and Zac’s have just been released and I am pleasantly surprised with all the weirdness that keeps popping up throughout the day.

Finally, I made the most amazing chilli con carne of my life! Usually I struggle because I’m very partial to a bolognese and I end up making a hybrid bolognese/chilli = Billi? Cholognese? I prefer Cholognese! It’s very confusing for the taste buds, so this was 100% a Chilli! Oh also, Zac MADE me do a workout tonight and I’m so thankful for his bossiness and pushiness at this time, I feel so much better! In general, he knows what’s best for me (excluding food situations) because I am the worst for talking myself out of things. I’m a personal trainer. I know what’s good for me, its just really difficult to practice what I preach right now, so thank god he’s here!

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Day 34 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

So what was the go today? Well, the main thing, I risked my life stepping outside of my apartment walls to make a trip to the dental hospital… FINALLY! I’ve needed to be seen for over a month but because of this virus, did you know there was a virus? All dentists were shut and I had to suffer with my mangled tooth. Okay, so before anyone worries, I went to the emergency dental department (it’s the ONLY one open…it opened today) and they said NOTHING, big fat nothing. How unhelpful! So, yes, worry! I said look, I need something to be done, my tooth is so painful, the left side of my face has inflated and is now twice the size of my right side as a result I’ve developed a square face. See below for my real time appearance:

In the end they gave me some antibiotics and hopefully my face will go back to normal!! By the way, just in case anyone is thinking “just brush your teeth”, I actually have a very healthy, nice set of toothsicles BUT ever since I moved to China, the spicy food has been bullying this particular tooth. No, for real, that was the causation of the mangalisation of my tooth. Apparently the spicy food set off my nerves in my mouth… like they were non-existent before. It didn’t make sense since I used to live at Nando’s and was guilty for constantly having medium spicy half chicken, saucy spinach with grains & greens. Okay, don’t judge me, I know people go for the chips or rice for sides but don’t knock it until you try it because it is bangalang!! I want a Nando’s!!

Ooo another big deal today was that I’ve moved to level 53 in the domesticated adult life… I made my own lasagna pasta sheets!! We’ve really wanted a lasagna but you really have to go out of your way to get your hands on a lasagna, let alone basic lasagna sheets. So, I made them. They were rolled out thinly, cut so neatly, placed perfectly… I then went on to make the rest of the lasagna! Wow Wow Wow, I love meat in lasagna but mine was so so so meaty, I love meat!! Basically, I out did myself, for my first ever try at making a lasagna I don’t think I did too shabby! Did I stop there!?!? NO, I don’t do things by halves (apart from the running and handstand challenge) I had to finish the 2 course meal (3 course is too posh for me) I also made pudden’. I made a cookie dough skillet… currently still cooking while I’m writing this as I made it so thick it’s taking my lifetime to look like the oven is even working (it is, just impatient). Anyway, so I have treated Zac to one of my meals and I think he liked it, he said he was impressed but I don’t know if that’s because his expectations of me were so low OR I actually cheffed it up! Here is proof of my homemade pasta sheets… Level 54 is baking my own bread… soon come.

Finally, I didn’t want to make this known but it’s got to the point where I have to report a crime. ZAC KEEPS EATING ALL OF MY FOOD!! I’m so hangry about it! I make a batch of shortbreads, the next morning they’re gone because he eats them all! I make some cookies, guess what, the next couple of hours, they’re gone. I bring home chocolate to put in the cookies… HE EATS THE CHOCOLATE! While I’m writing this, he has just come out of the kitchen with more cookie! There’s no stopping him! Oh yeah the cookie isn’t cooked but I gave up waiting so it’s ready to me! Anyway, no yummy food is safe in this house so I’m going to have to find a place where he’ll never go, or result to buying a triple locked safe because those are the lengths I need to go to be able to enjoy a tasty treat in this household… he is literally like Gollum but instead of the ring, it’s chocolate he’s after… here’s an accurate representation of when he gets chocolate;

I think Zac will appreciate me comparing his chocolate habits with Gollum’s ring habits as he loves The Lord of the Rings! So there you go, today I’m Spongebob Squarepants and Zac is Gollum, what an attractive couple we are! ALSO, we have been told that we may not go back to work until May 🙃 yay. Although the gym is opening next week sooo I guess I’ll just have to spend all of my time at the gym… how terrible 😃