Tag: food

Life

How Hangry Do You Get?

Emily Short

HANGER! Wow, I don’t even know how to explain how hangry I get. Actually, I do, I’ve created a hanger-o-meter below so go have a look where you land on the scale!

Anyway, I was so hangry today. I’ll tell you the story… Okay, so Zac (my fiancé) is an EXCELLENT cook! For today’s lunch he decided to make a spaghetti bolognese (My favourite!). Bear in mind I haven’t had spaghetti bolognese for so so long so I was super excited to have this meal for lunch! Right so, it gets to lunch and I get my packed spaghetti bolognese from the fridge, sit down, try and open the Tupperware (glass) and it slides off of the table, smashes everywhere and my yummy food falls out onto the floor… OH MY GOD. I genuinely could have cried. I picked it up and put it onto a plate as I was so desperate to keep this meal sanitary to eat but guess what… there were shards of glass – big and small pieces, throughout the pasta and meat. I was picking out all of the glass still trying to save the meal I was so desperate to have. I thought I got all of the little bits, how wrong was I!?!? I picked up a fork full of the spag bol and CRUNCH! On my teeth! I had to spit it out as I didn’t want glass cutting open my organs, I wasn’t that desperate. I was so so sad, I had to give up trying to save the meal and chuck it all in the bin. Very emotional for me as food genuinely brings joy to my life.

I was not happy. Zac comes to the table with his meal (the same meal, just unsmashed with no glass) and says ‘well i could open mine just fine’, I couldn’t handle the jokes, I was fuming at how inept I was at opening a basic tupperware bowl. I just stormed off and said ‘that’s it, I’m going home’ I did have to return to work but it was a good excuse to leave and sort the dogs, I guess it made me productive in a way. I left the school whilst leaving everyone thinking I was mad at Zac as just before I left he said he’d order me food instead but i declined his offer as all I wanted was my beloved spag bol. I went to sort the dogs, fuming the whole time.

I returned to school, still angry (c’mon Emily, you should have got over it by now) but before I returned I bought an ice cream (Twister) to see if it would cheer me up and it failed. I was just so hangry at this point, I thought of any reason to blame Zac for why I was so angry but really it was serious HANGER!

I am going to apologise to Zac as soon as he finishes work. The hanger took over my personality and I turned into a hungry goblin…

This is a true visual representation of what my personality evolved into… ugly hey? That’s what hanger does to me!

Zac told me I just had to sort my hunger out and eat anything that would stop me from being hangry and see if I’m still angry after. I refused and refused but in the end I decided to order a nutritious McDonalds… Chicken Nugs, Waffle Fries and of course, a McFlurry!

As much as I hate to say this, he was right, he mostly is right… I was cured and the hangry, evil, ugly, little (big) goblin you see above disappeared.

So anyway, The Lesson: You may be hungry to such a degree that it turns you into a demon goblin and you don’t even realise it… As a result, make sure you eat whenever you need to eat otherwise you will be a meany bobeeny slaheeny grangreeny. Please check your current hanger level on the meter below to ensure no goblins appear:

Nutrition

Don’t starve yourself!

Emily Short

So… You want to lose weight? Fat? The bits of skin near your armpits which are so inconvenient, yes I know the struggle! Well, if this is the goal, the first thing everyone thinks is ‘I need to stop eating’. That might not mean stop EVERYTHING but just a few naughty things, the enjoyable things, the tasty treats that keep you sane! Well…

Yes, Timon is telling you! You can continue eating those ‘Sins’ that Slimming World claim to be the devil’s work. It drives me insane! Just a quick reminder, I am a personal trainer and a nutritional adviser, I’m not a nutritionist doctor or any of the sort BUT I do know how to give healthy, realistic and sustainable diet advice for anybody who wants the extra tips!

Okay, let’s continue… YES, you can eat and drink treats… unbelievable!? Let me explain: Your body needs food to survive right? RIGHT. This means you can’t starve it which also means you’re not going to gain any fat because you’re body is using the calories (energy) to survive. This said, that doesn’t mean you can eat as much as you want and blame it on the survival of your body, although, that would be magical! There is a calculation, I know, if you hate maths you’re already going to be turned off, so let’s use a friendlier word… There is a trick (ooo, lovely) to tell you how many calories you can consume without gaining any extra poundage AND no exercise is required, the trick is = Your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate).

As you can see, the diagram is kindly explaining how the body’s organs put the steak meal, carrot and cheeseburger to good use. You burn calories when you breathe, replenish your cells and keep your heart beating. AMAZING. It’s like exercising without doing anything, the laziest, most effective type of exercise. So lets have a look at how much food I can actually eat if I wanted to lie in bed all day and not gain any weight…

An example using my own measurements:

I am a Woman. This is important, the genders have different equations:

(4.536 x 143lbs) + (15.88 x 70in) – (5 x 23) – 161 =

648.6 + 1111.6 -115 – 161 =

BMR = 1484.2

I can eat 1484 Calories without putting on any weight and the calories can come from any food I want, so let’s see my food options! Okay this is what a day could look like for me if I wanted to eat and drink without any restrictions part from knowing my BMR.

There you go! I was able to eat yummy meals, have a little sneaky ice cream and a glass of wine… I even had 10 calories to spare!

This is just an example to show you that I don’t have to starve myself to make sure I don’t put on any weight, I can also continue eating enjoyable meals and snacks throughout the day, and if I want to lose weight and TONE which is really the goal of this blog, I would reduce my calories to be below my BMR (- Exercise Kcals) depending on the speed I want to drop the weight and the amount of energy expenditure BUT that will be included within the next post! This post is purely if you don’t exercise. I will be posting about becoming toned when your lifestyle does include exercise! Stay up-to-date! Some juicy tips and knowledge is coming your way!

The Lesson: Find out your BMR, if you don’t go over your BMR you definitely won’t be putting on any weight. If you stay under your BMR, you’re most likely to lose weight at a rate you’ve never seen before whilst still having the scrummy snacks!

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Day 20 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

Okay so! First and foremost, Zac made brownies!!! Bit of a back story… Last night Zac said he was going to make me the best brownies in the morning to make it up to me. I was thinking thank god since he forced me to get out of bed by stealing the duvet, making me freezing cold, just to get his phone as he left it in the bathroom (Yes, brownies was the price he had to pay)… Anyway, I was over my anger quickly because of his promise.

This morning came around, I was so excited buuut Zac wakes up and says “I can’t do it, I need more sleep, I’m getting old” I was thinking, okay he is very old, he’s probably only talking about another hour in bed. Fine, I’ll wait, who has brownies at 9am anyway… 4.5 hours later!!!! Ohh okay I see how it is. He emerges out of the bedroom and says “okay, I’m making you some brownies now.” My face was like…

I was in disbelief. OMG. Firstly, I was so patient! and secondly, HALF THE DAY WAS GONE. What happened to brownies in the morning?? It doesn’t matter, he was finally making me brownies and I’m appreciative of that. BUT THEN, he starts getting the ingredients out that he’s going to use to make them, things like oats and peanut butter, and I’m thinking oh my days, I have waited nearly 5 hours for flapjacks!?! He’s saying “Emily trust me, they’re brownies” I wasn’t convinced, so much so that I may have even got a little bit salty about it, I wanted brownies and now I’m expecting flapjacks… my hopes were destroyed. 30 minutes later after sitting in silence because I was so distraught thinking that I’m not getting real brownies, Zac walks out with steaming hot, gooey brownies… I tasted them… OMG they were scrummy yummy lumptious!! Of course, I’m not saying it out loud (that means that he won) but in my head, ‘I’m sorry I ever doubted you, you are the bestest brownie cook ever and I love them’, out loud it went more like ‘Yeah, they’re real nice. Thanks babe’… I’m smooth. He obviously knew I loved them though since every time he turned around I was stood in the kitchen picking at the brownie tray, hehehe! So yes, I can confirm Zac is a very trustworthy and competent chef, lucky me!!

Next! After eating these brownies…and the left over cheesy, god-like creation… and the other side meal of bolognese (Zac also made) I was feeling a little bloated and realised I needed to work on controlling my appetite. BUT as I said before, I eat like an athlete who has ran 5 triathlons! Anyhoo, due to this feeling I didn’t want to do anything but I got pushed out the door to go for a run with Lola, yes, I went on my second run! It’s going well! Missed the handstands again… I don’t think I can complete the handstand challenge, I’m too scared of the poo landmine field on every patch of grass near our apartment, also, there are so many random shrubs and trees, they’re in my way and are a little inconvenient, though they really enhance the aesthetic appreciation of the grounds since China is a concrete jungle. Then, after the run, I came back in and did an upper & core workout which is fab because obviously, I deserved another brownie! Yeah yeah yeah yeah!!! People workout for many reasons… I workout to eat more brownies, YUMMAY! Gawd I sound like such a fatty. It is under-control I swear!

That was my day, riveting isn’t it! So thinking about tomorrow, it is going to be the 3 week mark in isolation and we have survived! We haven’t gone completely nuts, we haven’t caught the virus (although Zac had a close call), we’re still engaged, so no real fall-outs, and we’re finding more activities to do to make this experience more enjoyable! In this case, I think so far we have been quite successful! Also, it’s Valentine’s day tomorrow! Wow, I never thought I’d spend a Valentine’s day in isolation, and my birthday is close so could also have a birthday in isolation, SAY WHAT!?! That would be very lame but as cheesy as it sounds, at least I’m with Zac and that’s all I really need. I’m so cute!

Tomorrow, we’re having a pizza party and I cannot wait because I haven’t had pizza in sooooo long! Yes, all of my main points are about food because currently, food is the way to keep me distracted from this ridiculous situation of just being inside of our house most of the time! Pizza, YAY, How exciting!

I hope you all enjoy and love your food as much as I do, I’m so happy for you!

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Day 19 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

Well, what an entertaining 24 hours! I’m going to go through the different various events in the order of; the most shocking, the smelliest, the funniest, the most surprising, the tastiest then mention any add-ons. Okay, here we go…

The most shocking award goes to the time of 1am last night, where Zac heard screaming and shouting outside, he looked out of the window and saw a young boy getting escorted away from the building by people in hazmat suits. He was probably screaming about the fact he doesn’t want to be taken just because his temperature may be a little over. That is the intensity of how strict the patrolling suit people are here! Not only have we seen people being escorted away but our friends also have seen many from their buildings, and when out and about! We are definitely making sure our temperatures are set before stepping outside because 1, I don’t want either of us being taken into quarantine and 2, it would be pretty inconvenient for the hazmat people to call in 10 of their guys just to take Zac alone. We’re thinking of the whole system here!

Next, the smelliest award goes to Zeus! Remember when I said Zeus was a dick. Well, he is! He decided to do a big ol’ poo poo on our bed covers, oh and of course he wouldn’t be a complete dick if he didn’t add a wee at the opposite end of the bed! It was disgusting. As a result, we had to go to the shops to buy a new duvet. Thank you Zeus. The cat is a twat. It rhymes and it’s necessary. However, that does lead us nicely into the funniest award, it goes to me. Yaaay! We were in the supermarket and Zac said he was making brownies, so I said great, can you put Oreos in them? He said no because they’re going to be Toblerone brownies. Why would anyone say no to Toblerone x Oreo brownies!?!? Anyway, I insisted on getting Oreos and he said No just like a parent would… he’s got to be careful, he’s quite a few years older than me, easy mistake to make (kidding!). So, it carried on, I would ask and he kept saying no. I had to take matters into my own hands. I went to run for the Oreos but Zac grabbed my hood like some sort of dog lead. What is that about huh. I got myself into a situation so I used my smartness and distracted him, I started talking about protein or something because protein, gym or rugby will always get his attention. Then I ran! I was freeee! I grabbed my beloved Oreos and put them on the scanner but no, they didn’t make it through. Party pooper Zac hid them. We walked out of the shop and we realised we forgot bread… “Emily can you go back inside and get some bread please?” “Yes, of course darling!” Little did he know, this was fab for me because I could get my Oreos without any stoppages this time. I got my necessary item and the bread, left the shop by skipping towards Zac because guess who got their own way… ME! Yeah yeah yeah yeah!!! Don’t mess with me boss man, I am the boss!

On to the most surprising. Well everyone, I did it, I went for a run, 3 laps of our plot, no stoppages (accept one, when Lola launched herself into a bush, we had a graceful recovery) I took the first step to completing my challenge! I’m going to be a marathon runner in no time…orrr not. Unfortunately, I didn’t get around to handstands BUT did do the best leg workout I have done since being in isolation! This made me feel like I deserved this next bit of information I am about to tell you!

OMG! By Jove! Bajeezuz! The dinner, no no wrong word, the GODLY creation Zac made tonight was undoubtedly the best meal he has ever cooked, and maybe even the best meal I have EVER had IN MY LIFE! Seriously, it was extraordinary. I’m dribbling thinking about it. The cheesiest pasta sauce with the meatiest most tender meat balls and the most al dente pasta… put some slow music in the background and this description could become sensual. It couldn’t be true, I fell in love all over again. He’s sat there and I’m thinking, you may have just tied me down forever because I can’t go anywhere and not have that meal again… Obviously I’m not going to go anywhere anyway but this made it even more assuring! Carrying on, so yes, the tastiest award goes to his divine dinner we had this evening meaning it is going to be very difficult for him to top this one!

Finally, today I had to do my first online class videos, I didn’t like it, I know I’ve got to do it but I hate talking to my camera. Talking to a class is so much nicer because you don’t look crazy guessing what the student’s responses would be when you ask the questions like “Can you guess what this is?”… “No, it’s not your mouth, it’s your eye!” and you don’t even know if they thought the answer was Mouth, it’s just nuts. Although, I did get a lot of the content in that I wanted to and I think I could get used to it but at the moment it definitely isn’t sitting well. Let’s hope the students enjoy the videos!

Here’s a picture of walking Lola and Bella at the same time, it’s ridiculous!

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Day 18 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

No more Ikea! No more Decathlon! Last week they were open, hence why I assumed they’d be open today but nope. Surely this means the situation here is worsening because everyone knows, once Ikea shuts it’s got bad, Ikea NEVER shuts. Sadly, we couldn’t get our new pan. BUT we did one of the biggest food shops I have ever been involved in as we were stocking up for the month! Well, as much as the month as possible as we are like the hungry caterpillar on steroids x 2! It seems like we eat everything in our cupboards as fast as possible due to having the same appetites as someone who has ran 5 triathlons back to back… It really is hard work. Anyhoo, from this extremely large shop, Zac became an inspired chef and cooked up a new meal and Man O’ Mano! It was yummer-yummers! Steak and eggs with chimichurri sauce, laaavely! I definitely could not live with someone who couldn’t cook! Apologies to all the non-chefs, maybe next time. I am so excited for his next creation but I swear if I get fluffy, we’re going to have a problem.

Luckily, another constant activity of my day is going for leisurely walks with Lola, Bella and Zac. Hmm are they leisurely though? Not really. Zac’s company is fab, a lot better than my own BUT Lola might as well be a snow dog because I swear she thinks I’m a sled, running as fast as she can, making my legs move faster than they’re actually programmed to. I am NOT a runner. You may be thinking, you are a sporty person though. NO, no I’m a fake sporty person. I wear sports clothing because it’s comfortable and I workout in the gym for aesthetic purposes only… “But you play basketball”. Correction, I did play basketball and in basketball it’s different. I run after a ball with a lot of stops and slides and no consistent running, which is perfect because I am NOT a runner. Anyway, the walks keep me active and if they weren’t around the same circle, they’d be quite therapeutic.

Another important mention is that I had a very inspiring moment myself involving a conversation on the phone this evening with one of my beloved former team-mates as she recommended taking up knitting… not so inspiring. Try again… then she said learn to juggle or do handstands. She had a point, I’ve never really been able to do handstands and I think now is the perfect time to do it as I’ve got no excuse… People! In one month, I will be able to walk on my hands. Challenge accepted!

Nothing else really happened today, it was nice being out the house all day though. Although, last night was quite entertaining as I watched Bad Boys 2 for the first time and OMG it’s hilarious! When Mike (Will Smith) and Marcus (Martin Lawrence) are at the door intimidating Reggie (Marcus’s Daughter’s date) I could have died.

Marcus Burnett: You a virgin?
Reggie: Yes, sir.
Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain’t gonna be no ****ing tonight.
Mike Lowery: You ever made love to a man?
Reggie: No.
Mike Lowery: You want to?

It’s just so accurate of how my Dad wanted to be if I ever had a boyfriend turn up at my door but his reaction was the complete opposite. He ended up bonding with them, well… Zac, by inviting him to go canoeing down the River Avon. As thug as you can get.

There aren’t many changes with the Coronavirus apart from the difference of 1 to 1000 people dead in only one month! Absolute craziness.

Sooo just to end on a happier note with all the challenges I accepted for myself today! First, I will walk on my hands, second, Lola will be able to do Britain’s Got Talent tricks – I haven’t mentioned this as there was only brief training today, it will be mentioned throughout the days. Finally, go on at least one voluntary run a day with Lola. This should keep me busy!

I’m still getting paid remember, hehehe.

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Day 17 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

This day definitely did not go as planned. In yesterday’s post, I was so excited for today but, WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT. Actually, it did get better, thankfully Zac seems to be containing his emotions way better than me and helped turn the day around. Such a good boy! I’m just going to quickly mention about last night; I had a major breakdown, we just finished dinner and I was craving a chocolate bar, specifically a Snickers… again, that means I needed one. Although, I couldn’t buy one this time because we hadn’t been paid yet. Due to this, I got myself into a bit of a state. While Zac was enjoying himself watching the rugby, I started crying… Yes, actual tears and whines because I couldn’t have the yummy chocolate. It was like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I hit a low okay!? Usually, if I can’t have one, I won’t be happy but I’ll just get on with it and distract myself. BUT, in the situation we are in, when I need a chocolate bar because it will make me happy and I can’t get one, obviously I’m just going to become even more upset. On top of this, Zac developed a cough and I thought that was it, I thought he had the VIRUS! Although, Zac thought it was hilarious, he was also crying (and coughing) but with laughter, and I wasn’t impressed at all. Anyway, I took myself to bed and ended up going to sleep without the necessary item to fix my emotions.

Bearing that in mind, today we were paid. Usually it goes into the bank at around midday. That’s why I had my plan, everyone knew my plan BUT the plan didn’t happen. We didn’t get paid until 5pm!! This meant we spent the whole day obsessively checking our bank accounts seeing if our money had gone in annnd we couldn’t eat all day! Remember, I was already upset about not getting a Snickers last night, so to not be able to go through with my plan or EAT until 5pm, you can understand the fury that I felt earlier today. I will explain, there are 4 stages of hunger… Stage 1, ‘Being Hungry’ = I’m peckish, I would like something to eat as I haven’t eaten for a couple of hours. Stage 2, ‘Starving’ = I’m very very hungry, I haven’t eaten for about 5/6 hours and I could eat anything I’m given. Now going into dangerous territory, Stage 3, ‘Hangry’ = I’m so angry because I just want food, I can’t have food, so I don’t want to talk to anyone or do anything until I get food! Finally, Stage 4. Stage 4 is commonly difficult to reach as it is very dependent on situations, for example; PMSing, break-ups, failed celebrations, mourning and ISOLATION. Stage 4 = Off-the-chart, smoke out of my nose HANGRY, where you just lean against the radiator and stare because you can’t move, think or feel until you have food. That is the level I was at. I didn’t show it but I could see Zac tip-toeing around the house and moving things in slow motion just in case he set me off. I’m not crazy but I am controlled by my stomach (hence the crying over Snickers). Anything that I say or how I act under the influence of Stage 4 Hangriness cannot be held against me as I am not accountable for the behaviour which may be witnessed. Luckily for Zac, I was very quiet but had a face like this kid below for most of the day.

Anyway, thank Jeezuz for Zac still having the balls to talk to me. At 5pm, he informed me that we finally got paid and gave me permission to get anything I wanted. My face was still like the above picture but I was starting to feel a change coming on. I got straight onto ordering us the burgers that I said were amazing in yesterday’s post, they did not disappoint! Then, I ordered a few ice creams, 2 of them were disappointing but the other 2 were scrum! Top tip: In China, you have to order a back up food, not being able to read Chinese means we have to guess using the picture. Finally, I ordered a cake! We couldn’t make brownies so it was only fair to get a birthday cake to make up for it. At this point, my face had gone from that ^ to…

Yaaay, Zac was now in the clear to be able to talk to the only other person he ever sees. This man deserves a medal, people! He also doesn’t have the virus as his cough stopped after about an hour (good timing). Of course I still kept an eye on him today even if I was in a mood. Anyway, it may seem like I over-reacted and had an over-emotional response to the food situation but if you were stuck in your house, with nothing else to do for days and days, I’m pretty sure you would become the same way! Seriously though, it is getting ridiculous and I want to go back to my normal life of working, gyming and socialising. I actually really enjoy my job and want to do something productive with the brain cells I have left.

Fortunately, we have to start creating the online lessons for our classes and I cannot wait. I’m such a nerd. I don’t care. I want to talk about hospital, hygiene and Coronavirus vocabulary. Make play dough examples and sound-out the pronunciation for my 4 year olds, because it will mean that I’m doing something other than walking my dog around the same block of grass. As you can tell, I’m extremely over this isolated circumstance. Zac has his side on his blog but we are both definitely finding it difficult. As soon as our gym opens back up and we can do our own thing for 1 or 2 hours a day, I reckon we will be back to normal. Reassuringly, taking into consideration how much time we spend together (24 hours everyday) in a single compact space, we have been getting on very well apart from the odd disagreement. Yay us!

For tomorrow, we will be doing yesterday’s plan apart from not having burgers. That’ll be too fat and I won’t be able to handle that. That rhymes!

Tomorrow. Operation Ikea, Walmart, Decathlon and Bank of China. Boom!

My face is still currently like the below picture as I am hangry no more!

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Day 16 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

YAAY! Tomorrow. is. PAYDAY!!! We cannot be more ready for this as we finally get to leave the house for a real reason. We’re going to the shops (the only ones left open) and spending our money. Yeah yeah yeah yeah!! The plan of attack is; we’re going to the superstore, the only one that sells western foods like grated cheese and pasta sauce because we need to start baking/cooking fun things such as pizzas and brownies to get us through the days since we’re going to be stuck in this situation for a while! I’m really hoping that Ikea is still open because I want to treat us to a new pan. How exhilarating. I burnt our other one and we need to get this necessity to survive this boredom just in case all businesses completely shut. We have NEVER cooked so much in our lives.

I was so happy when Ikea opened last month, it’s brand new in Guiyang and as soon as you step in the building, its like Narnia, you feel like you’re back in England again. It’s home… within Sweden. Imagine living in China where all signs are in Chinese characters, everyone speaks Chinese, and you only ever see all the Chinese ways. Then suddenly, as soon as you enter Ikea EVERYTHING is in English (also, Swedish and Chinese). What a dream. I really think that English signs, Ikea meatballs and flat-packed furniture is what I need to remove myself from this isolated experience.

Ikea also check your temperature on the way in. #Coronavirus

Anyway back to the plan, after we spend a lot of money by getting all of our yummy food and new household items, I am going to order us a couple of burgers from one of the only delivery restaurants that is still open. Praying that this specific place is still delivering because the burgers are incredible. I know, strange, I’ve been to America, Australia, most European countries and CHINA is where I think I have found the best burger I have every had (Stubborn Bull Burger, for anyone wondering). I also think we deserve a break from cooking. Usually these burgers are rapid at arriving to our door BUT the security doesn’t let any non-residents inside of the area anymore. This does mean I will have to walk to the entrance to collect these delish burgers myself (not really door-to-door service is it) but I think I’ll be able to handle that, so exciting!

Talking about security, overnight they have implemented two new things. I told you they would have an update! First thing is that everyone has to scan the barcode and fill in the online form using their phone by answering a few questions about their identity and accommodation on site. Obviously, I can’t read Chinese and can barely speak the language, yet the staff still insisted for me to use the online form. I spoke into my translator and said can’t do that, I’m English and I can’t read Chinese, so they let me through. That wasn’t too tough but I mean come on, there’s no way they can expect me to be able to read Chinese when they know I’ve only lived here for 5 months. Second thing, Lola is not allowed outside of the accommodation area anymore, so bad! How boring is it going to be for her now just walking around in circles in the same place because we aren’t allowed to let her off the lead either. My poor baby. I guess this means we’re going to have to take up running! In this case, thank you Lola for keeping us fit.

Okay, back to the plan, after eating these incredible burgers, we’re making brownies, Zac doesn’t know this but I’m pretty sure he won’t disagree, also I need his help since I fired myself from being the chef and he says brownies are his niche… I’ll believe it when I taste it!

After a day of eating yummy food, finally! I’m pretty sure we won’t have a reason to be bored anymore because we’re going to want to just slump anyway. See, I’ve got it all planned out. We need a day like this, Zac is still ill… has now developed a cough (coincidently when I asked him to take the dog out)… I swear it better not be this virus! I don’t think it is, he hasn’t been outside and we’re quite cautious of what’s hygienic and what’s not. Probably still has man-flu. “I can’t go out *cough* *cough* I’m sick” Gretchen Weiner, Mean Girls. I’m kidding, he’s not putting it on, my little big fella is actually sick so that’s why we need brownies in our lives! For me, I’m a good nurse and I’ve worked out today so I deserve it, YAY!

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Day 15 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

Well it seems like this isolation thing isn’t stopping anytime soon as all large and small Chinese businesses/factories were supposed to be opening again tomorrow (we thought we were finally going to see a gym again!) but no. They have postponed until 17th February now and more delays to be predicted! I will tell you now, on 17th February places will not be open. It wouldn’t be so bad if only restaurants were open as I would LOVE a green tea java chip frappucino! They don’t have Nando’s here but a Nando’s would make me so happy! See, that got me thinking about all the foods that I miss from England since I really love going to Asda, Sainsburys, Lidl… I don’t care where, I just love food shops! Restaurants! Cafes!

Here’s a list of a few foods I miss, prepare yourselves… Dairy Milk chocolate, most biscuits (especially chocolate digestives, custard creams and Shortbread), COOKIES like the white chocolate chip or twix – the baked ones from the superstores. MRS POTTS CHOCOLATE HOUSE, I actually dribble thinking about their cakes. Okay, I may have a slight sweet tooth. Carrying on, I miss roast chicken that you can buy already cooked from Sainsbury’s, all quiches, Heinz baked beans and real sausages… basically a real English breakfast ALSO a roast dinner! I really miss scones with jam and cream on with a cup of tea! Doritos to make nachos, and ice cream, just a big tub of Half Baked Ben and Jerry’s. Dominos! What I would do for a stuffed crust chicken pizza brought to the door (since I’m stuck inside anyway). The thing I have been craving most is a Manor House cake… How boring you’re thinking BUT if you tried the cakes here, they are literally just cream. A manor house cake is such a MOIST cake it’s just the cakiest cakey cake of all the cakes! Obviously there are more foods that I miss but it’s just too much and my fingers will get tired.

I know you’re probably thinking that its’s all fatty and unhealthy things… Well, yes it is. This food makes me so excited and happy that it is all I can think about while stuck in the same four walls everyday! Generally, I have a good diet, I have my five-a-day, protein and complex carbs BUT this is the stuff I want so bad. I basically have constant PMS-ing cravings right now, so us females know the strength of the cravings that I feel!

Today, I tried to calm the cravings by trying to make pancakes… They were disgusting! I fired myself from the chef job I gave myself yesterday. Firstly, I was missing 3 of the main ingredients (sugar, baking powder and nice toppings). Secondly, I don’t have weighing scales so I completely misjudged the amount of flour I put in and they ended up being described by Zac as “Flour Sponges”. Thirdly, I knew when cooking them, they were going to taste gross so I just covered them with yoghurt to see if I could hide the disappointment I created… No that didn’t work… Blehhh! Buh bye pancakes!

As my pancakes failed, the only thing we ended up eating today were dumplings, Oreos and Snickers… I swear, I do have a good diet!

Update on the security of our accommodation, on entry while they take your temperature, they now also take your picture. Right, can anybody else see another 5’10, white, British, blue-eyed female in the accommodation or Guiyang for that matter (as nearly all British citizens have now gone back to the UK), NO I didn’t think so! I’m nearly 99% certain they could recognise me if they looked at me, I’m basically the amazonian woman of China. They also see me 3 times a day walk out with a massive golden retriever, yet they still need a picture for reference just in case I don’t live here. Craziness! I wonder what the next update is for the security is tomorrow.

ALSO! I was supervised picking up my dogs poop today… Lola went for her morning poo sesh as usual. Suddenly, I have two groundsman stood right next to me making sure I pick the poop up and put it in the bin. They spoke to me in Chinese and were doing the actions of picking a poop up. I looked at them, turned around, picked it up, walked back up to them and showed the poop in the bag… Happy now!? What is this!!? Firstly, why are they stood so close to me? AND why are they watching me pick up poop? Probably think I’m going to leave it there to spread the virus of something. Pffft.

Anyway, that’s basically how the day has gone. Ooh yes, fortunately, I have now confirmed with work that we will still be getting paid, regardless of how long this virus takes to blow over! At least we’re getting money while just sitting inside these four walls and sending some videos to our classes. I guess it’s not all bad!

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Day 14 in China during the Coronavirus

Emily Short

Everyone, today I was SO productive! Yay to me! I think the fact that I did nothing yesterday gave me a bit of a jump start today. ALSO, Zac is ill! He has the Flu (Man-Flu) and I know what you’re thinking, nooo it’s not the Coronavirus. At one point we did think it was malaria as we got eaten alive in Thailand, but, as the qualified doctor Google is, we diagnosed him with the Flu… So he’s been in bed all day and I’ve been feeding him Lemsip which meant I had the day to entertain myself.

First thing I’m going to mention is: Zac has also started a blog, because I am that much of an inspiration… Not really, he is also bored and wants to talk about his own experience, it is very close to mine but what do you expect when we live in the same house and do the same things everyday. However, he takes more of a factual approach, and I talk about anything that comes into my head… You’re welcome. My suggestion is, you definitely follow my blog, and also check out his (if you’re interested).

So, the first productive thing I did was oven cook a beef brisket. OMG. I got up and I started cooking this brisket 6 hours in advance for it to be ready for dinner… I have now passed all house-wife requirements. I was so impressed with myself, I bought my oven for £20 and I don’t want to brag but it was amazeballs! Of course, served it up for dinner with a little bit of mash and vegetables on the side with some homemade gravy and I am a teacher no more, I am now a chef.

While this 6 hour beef was cooking, I actually did my workout that I said I was going to do in yesterday’s post! I felt so much better for it, and looked like I needed a snickers, so I rewarded myself with a snickers!

Since Zac was in bed and the dogs were asleep after a couple of long walks, I did something that my mum thought I was never capable of while growing up. BUT! how wrong was she. I cleaned the house! Did some floor sweeping, dish-washing, clothes-washing and tidied the rooms.

Just imagine… the house is tidy, the dogs are asleep, dinner is being sorted and I’ve done a workout. Jeezuz, no wonder why he proposed to me! I am so humble. I also sound like a middle-aged woman. This is what it has come to!

For anyone that’s proud of me, I’m proud of myself. However, also crying inside as that is the most mundane thing I will ever write. In regards to the Coronavirus, our accommodation security are now wearing rain ponchos to protect their uniform from catching the virus… Hazmat suits, fine. But rain ponchos!? Temperature tests, masks, gloves, eye goggles, banning dogs, disinfected elevators and rain ponchos… At the moment it doesn’t look like this China shutdown thing is going to finish anytime soon. Unfortunately, this does mean that Zac will have to stay inside until he has completely recovered as we get texts through saying that they will take us into quarantine if our temperature is over 37’C and we’re not taking that risk.

In other news, I had my online class groups come through today which means I can share some content of the classes with you, how exciting! I’m going to have to make these as attractive as possible to stay sane because this could go on for a while!

Here’s a picture of the family!